The Hungarian Padthai

 I haven't been writing for a long time. It was a lot to write about but I haven't got the time or motivation to sit down and word all it out. But stuff happened, and so did changes; and I hope I did most things right and adapted well to them. I lost a couple of friends (will share in a moment how), and also I gained a couple of new ones, or with some of my closed-knit contacts we are not that closed-knit anymore (and I would lie if I told that it didn't hurt). But today I wasn't going to write about the emotional changes in me, just about the circumstances and how I coped with them. Just be patient, this emotional roller-coaster will make sense to you, too, dear Reader. :-)  Somewhere in KrungThep Bridge. :-) Okay, here are the things that happened to me since April:  1. I resigned from my old school and accepted another position in Bangkok.  2. I moved houses.  3. I got inspired by my new, wonderful colleagues.  4. I started a lot of interesting workshops...

 There is a Finnish poem which says the Christmas is only in the hearts of people and it is when we want it. This is how I feel tonight.  It's Christmas Eve. I miss my family, mostly my dear sister and my dear cousins but in general, Christmas in 2020 would be different anyway. It's not about the festivities - and maybe, hopefully, this year it will change it for us forever, that it should be in our hearts. Even if it disappeared from it at some point.  Christmas is when we want it - says the poem and sadly I don't remember who wrote it. Christmas is when our beloved ones run towards us. Christmas is in the heart when you see someone that you love smile at you - or see someone think of you but s/he doesn't realize it that you're watching him / her yet. It's the feeling, and the warmth of the love.  I am grateful to have so many friends to think of and talk to during this night. I don't feel myself lonely even if "I should be": my family are far awa...

  Somehow this is how I feel.  My Bangkok-days have ended for now. My quarantine is about to finish tomorrow. My second corona test is also negative. Somehow, I feel happy, overwhelmed and sad at the same time. I want to stand in front of the window and look out at the window - like who knows when I am going to be able to visit a SkyBar next time, but at the same time, I also need to pack and get ready for tomorrow.  I'm not ready yet. I became too comfortable in my little bubble here. I became a tiny bit organized, like scheduling my visits to the relax area, and meeting up with L, B and Z, you know, the first people that you meet on a trip that always remain special to you because you share something very personal and very fragile with them (your insecurity of living in a whole different culture than yours).  But tomorrow, I'm stepping - what stepping, I'm jumping! - out into the unknown and the working days are coming (like the sword of Damocles) above my head. I ...

  From today on, Hungary's borders are shut down and just today it dawned on me that if I wanted to, if I really wanted to (or had to?), maybe I couldn't even go back home (or it would be difficult anyway). I was just lying in the bed until 3 am, thinking: what have I done? I am in a foreign country, a foreigner, alone, and I don't even speak the language. Will I manage? What if something happens to me? How will I make myself understood? (Even when sometimes I cannot understand myself.) We can put it nicely, but the hotel still feels like a prison sometimes. We are controlled to so much extent that we are even have to give a prior notification when we want to leave our rooms. Which is still reasonable, but you get it.  10 000 kilometers already sound too much, but given the conditions, now it even seems more. I know, I have to give time to things. I know I can also change and I will as well. According to Haemin Sunim (his book is highly recommended, Love for Imperfect Thing...

 When I arrived at the hotel, I was very sleepy and tired, still, I had to force myself to stay awake, until 8 pm, in order to send the first temperature measurement.  I cannot stop looking at the view for the whole time... it's so beautiful! Busy, bustling and lively, but from far atop, it has its charm!  The hotel is very strict which also means, it's well-organized. Breakfast, lunch and dinner are served at the same time: breakfast around 8 am, lunch around 12:00 and finally, dinner around 5 am. All the communication with the hotel (and the nurse) should be carried out via Line application. It's nice! They send us a menu that we can choose from, and they also send us necessary information. Temperature measurements should be also sent with photo attached.  One of the advantages of stayin in the hotel is that I had to start to appreciate the time with myself and now I also have the time to treat myself! So the other day, I just took a long bath, like for real, sitti...