Ode to my saxophone (and to my sax teacher)
This story started more than a year ago. I hardly mentioned it to anyone (only nowadays start to open up about it), first, because I don't like to be in the spotlight, second, because I rarely think that I'm good at something (which basically has to do with the first one: that's the reason I don't like to be in the spotlight).
Anyway, one day as I was aimlessly walking up and down the streets in Saraburi, I discovered the music school. I learnt piano for about ten years. I decided that it was enough for me and I needed a different challenge. I knew that I needed to do something, mostly for my mental health, and anyway, all the time we learn something new, it's good for us, isn't it? As I entered the KPN Saraburi building, I saw a saxophone. I wanted to try out. Not because I had always wanted to try it, just, you know, for something, for some fun. To test me, and my limits.
I never forget the first moment, as I sat down. I got a free class to start with because, of course, not everyone is capable of blowing into this special wind instrument, and first you gotta learn the technique. Especially, in my case, who had nothing to do with wind instruments of any sort (and please let's not count the 6-month flute-course in primary school Grade 1). In either case, it happened 25 years ago anyway... so. Of course, at first, I was really bad at it. I blew and blew and blew and I imagined my face turning blue and nothing came out of the instrument. The first reaction of course was frustration and disappointment, why is it not happening? Pray, my soon-to-be teacher encouraged me and showed me different techniques how to bend my mouth in order to get the sax to sound. And once, a deep, profound, vibrating sound snuck away after my blow and I couldn't describe my happiness! I had my personal AHA-moment there, and after that I knew how to bend my mouth and how to blow into the saxophone correctly. Pray even taught me a couple of sounds, and I played my very first scale that day. She wondered too, because she said, normally, it takes some time to play scales. (They're still not my favourite up to now, hehe.)
I started classes late November in 2020, but then January 2021 the full lockdown came. I made the decision and bought my own saxophone because until then I went to the music school twice: once for class and another time to practice. I think that was the dealbreaker moment for me: that was my personal point of no return. I mean, if you invest a lot of money in such an instrument, you must take it seriously. It cannot be taken as only a 'seasonal whim' of sort. My teacher helped me choose a good model and ordering through the music school granted me some discount, but just to give you an idea, it cost more than my one-year valid Covid-insurance to enter the country.
I took online classes and then February, March we returned to the school (I even had a concert in March with the music school!), and then again I took online courses. Meanwhile, I moved to Bangkok, I changed schools, apartments and a whole circle of friends too, but my saxophone stayed with me at all times and supported me in unimaginable ways. It is indeed a great great thing for my mental health, too!
A person who used to play the piano for ages, I never felt such harmony with that instrument like the one I'm experiencing now. Maybe it has to do with a couple of facts. For now, I learn to play saxophone based on my intrinsic motivation. No one forces me what I do, and even if I complain about the concerts, or performances, I am really happy to play at them. I practice always more than I need, and always ask for new songs. I'm always wondering: how could it sound on sax? The other thing is, and that's directly related to concerts and such, I don't feel like I'm alone on the stage. Somehow, the saxophone is always me, it's like as if there were two of us. During the past year, I had a lot of ups and downs. Even then, I felt, my saxophone is the one thing that keeps me stable and my head straight. It's a great support. When I used to play the piano, I never felt that connection, because I had my piano at home, the one at the music school and the one at the concert hall. They were all different and all sounded differently, and the one I was practicing on I had to push the keys much harder than the one in the concert hall and my pianos were never really pianos. Anyway. With the saxophone it just works differently. It's always me, always the same, and always the same sound as well, so no unpredicted event would occur (unless I would forget to change my reed before a performance).
Of course, I have ups and downs in learning too. I'm scared of sharp sounds. Not because they don't sound nice, but some of them are freaking hard to play! Or, when Pray told me that, let's play in B-flat (which I heard B-fat at first, due to the online class' circumstance) and I just casually mentioned: what if we give them a diet and they all turn out normal? (so no sharp sounds for me that way... :D ) (End of the story: after a heartful laughter, I had to play that scale nevertheless.)
I faintly remember - because it has changed over the time - that at first, it was hard to coordinate my mouth, lungs, and fingers. The mouth has to be perfectly bent, otherwise the sound might jump an octave. You must pay attention to the correct breathing, because it's impossible to blow without air in the lungs. And the fingers, of course. Again, I can only compare to the piano. There, the sounds are in order, completely predictable. 1-2-3-4-5 and you go like C-D-E-F-G. However, in saxophone you only use 3 fingers of each hand, and the code for C is 3 (left hand), D: 2-3-4, 2-3-4, E: 2-3-4, 2-3.... etc. For F sharp, I push R3 and L2-3-4, whereas F is L2-3-4, R2. Which, again, at first, it wasn't logical to me because again, I am used to the order in piano. In saxophone, the sounds seem to be so random, in such a different order, I really had to concentrate (and have to, up to now). But hey, my mind is expanding, so all good. :-)
I have my own history with music: I read the notes. I'm not a person who could improvise or someone in a band that you can tell "play in E minor" or what not. That scares me. But I'm honoured, that still, my students want to play music with me and with their bands, to include me, too. Back in my teenage times, that was "not cool" if the teacher was there with the students. It seems times are changing, or just saxophone makes me "cool" in some way? In any case. I'm scared and honoured and touched and have all these little mixtures of feelings, even on the school concert. (Especially when they look at me and say before the concert: "Ummm... we changed the intro. But don't worry, your part didn't change, but we'll look at you when you need to start playing." That was scary!)
I have my little moments, too. When the shyest student from my class walks up to me and starts telling me about his musical instruments (he used to play the trombone), and asks me to play a Thai song (which I happened to learn), and sings along. When in band practice, the student that plays the piano knows that it's hard for me to improvise and I receive some notes in my mailbox at night, saying that he prepared that for me.
I'm grateful that I walked into KPN that afternoon and got this wonderful treasure and also got the best teacher of the world who helps me and laughs with me and encourages me all the way. =) She would never give up on me, no matter what, even if we have to carry out the classes online. Thank you for that! :-)
Today I met Pray for the first time after having classes online in the past 8 months. Christmas is there, right in my heart. :-)
Megjegyzések
Megjegyzés küldése